How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I want her autograph on my taint
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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