I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
