So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
