did you get engaged???
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
