it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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