just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
