You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
