Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
