So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
