he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Im part way to drunk.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
