FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
