And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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