she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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