you traded sex for a burrito?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
