But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
