I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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