It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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