:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
