me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
