It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
