It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
