32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I think I just shit out all my problems.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
