Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
