Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
