I'm laying in your front yard are you home
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
