yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
