put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
