I have demons in me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
