I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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