Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
you will always have a special place in my vag
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
