There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
