On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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