Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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