i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
