I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
