We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
