More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
