There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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