I am puke
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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