Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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