How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
