I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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