I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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