I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
