No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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