I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
BRING THE BAGELS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
