I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
