I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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