I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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