Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
