butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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