But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
